


We Could Have Said

by HockeyMatchmaking



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: M/M, Mention of attempted suicide, Mpreg, Sort of hurt/comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-31
Updated: 2012-12-31
Packaged: 2017-11-23 02:14:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/616946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HockeyMatchmaking/pseuds/HockeyMatchmaking
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tazer collapsed into one of the chairs, putting his head in his hand and making noises that sounded suspiciously like crying."I'm so sorry Pat. I love you, really I do. I know that I was a dick, but…" Jonny looked up, tears drawing tracks on his cheeks, his eyes wild and confused. "What can I do to make it right?" He mumbled in a broken tone...</p>
            </blockquote>





	We Could Have Said

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: All of the events that occur in this story are, quite obviously, fictional.
> 
> This is an unbeta'd work.
> 
> I know that a lot of people don't like mpreg, so don't read if it bothers you...

_July 16th, 2012_

Patrick Kane sighed and wiped sweat off his brow with one hand as his other hand reached down to cradle his large stomach. He felt _huge_ and he could only wonder when this baby was going to show itself. He hoped it was before training camp, cause otherwise he was screwed. He slowly walked from his comfortable couch to the kitchen to get a snack. Kaner's stomach had been feeling off all day, slightly sore and gurgly, he hoped that eating would help.

He was only part of the way to the kitchen when pain sliced through his body, stopping him in his tracks. He gasped, and sunk to the ground, collapsing in a heap as pain surrounded him. It was far worse than any pain he'd felt so far that day, the other's had been softer, quieter and easy to ignore. This wasn't a pain he could ignore; he had to accept it. He was in labor. Patrick had heard Abby describe it enough times to understand what he was feeling, but that didn't stop him from panicking.

He was almost hyperventilating as he fumbled his phone out of his pocket. He dialled Patrick Sharp's cell number with shaky hands, his mind chanting, _oh shit, oh shit, oh shit_ , as another pain made him pant. The phone seemed to ring for an unbelievable amount of time, although it was probably only a few seconds. Sharpie answered with a chipper "Hello!" and Patrick counted to 10 as he tried not to yell.

"Fuuucckkk." He groaned as another pain took over his body, and Sharpie immediately began talking quickly in a worried tone. "What? Are you okay Pat? Is it the baby?" Patrick mumbled something that may have been a yes, then when he had control of his voice again he whined, "Can you and Abby come get me?" in a pitiful tone.

"I'm so sorry man, but Abby and I are showing off Madelyn in Thunder Bay…Uh…I'll call someone." Sharpie hung up before Kaner could start cursing him. Patrick forced himself to take a deep breath as he realized that he couldn't get up off the floor. "Fuck me." He mumbled as he pulled himself into a semblance of a sitting position. The longest half an hour of Kaner's life happened uneventfully, besides the horrendous pains every once in a while.

So when Pat heard his doorknob turn, he sighed in relief and thanked the hockey gods that Jonathan Toews had gotten him in the habit of not locking his doors. He could remember with amazing clarity Tazer frowning and saying, "Pat. You have a doorman and security, do you really need to lock your door?" Patrick almost chuckled, but it turned into a moan as another pain came.

Through the haze of pain, he heard a familiar voice. "Patrick?" Toews inquired and Kaner, being the genius that he was, cursed, "Fuck." in a despaired tone. Jonny had walked far enough into Patrick's apartment to see Kaner lying in an ungraceful heap, his large stomach gripped in two hands. Kaner proceeded to curse Sharpie in the most colourful terms he could think of as Jonny's eyes widened and he took a physical step back. "W-What? Kaner?" Jonny whispered, but somehow it was loud enough that it echoed in Pat's ears as another pain took over his mind.

Patrick heard himself whimper and soon Tazer's strong arms encircled him, and lifted him off the ground, a part of Kaner's mind wanted to warn Jonny not to hurt himself, but Pat was in too much pain to convey the words.

As Jonny whispered softly to Kaner and carried him out the door, Patrick remembered how he'd gotten into this whole mess.  
  
~  
  
 _December 25th, 2011_

"Merry Christmas." Jonny whispered, his breath brushing Kaner's ear like a lover's caress. Pat shivered and turned to kiss Tazer as the other man came undone, his cum filling up Pat, it only took a few strokes and a moment more for Kaner to be shaking and then relaxed as Jonny pulled out. "Wow. Best. Christmas. Ever." Patrick smiled, kissing Jon again as they lay in a post-coital stupor. And so, Jonny and Pat celebrated their first Christmas together, and Pat realized just how ridiculously in love with Tazer he was. Unfortunately, Jonny wouldn't have this particular revelation until much later.  
  
~  
  
 _February 20th, 2012_

Patrick wandered up to his door, the insistent knocking growing louder as Pat got closer. "On my way." Pat grumbled, rubbing sleep out of his eyes. One hand rested on his stomach as his mind idly wandered to how he was going to tell Jon that he was pregnant. "What?" Pat asked through the door instead of looking through the peephole.

"Pat. I, uh…Patrick." Jonny's nervous voice echoed through the door and Kaner panicked. "Hold on, gotta get a shirt on!" He shouted, taking a step away to get his sweater, which covered the obvious bump in his abdomen. Patrick was about 4 months along, so he couldn't pass his stomach off as just a little too much to eat any more.

"Uh, no that's fine Pat. I'll tell you through the door." Jon sounded upset and Patrick had just assumed it was because the 'Hawks were out of the playoffs, but something in Tazer's voice made Pat freeze in mid step. "Um…So, I'm just gonna assume that you're listening…" Tazer mumbled and Pat made a vague noise of agreement, his mind wandering over what Jonny could sound so broken up over. "It's just, uh…This thing between you and I…" Jonny began and Patrick froze, wondering if Toews had found out about the baby.

Patrick cleared his throat and interrupted Jonny, assuming the worst. "Uh…I'm sorry Jonny, I just didn't want to…" Pat's voice trailed off as he realized that Jon was still talking. "-and I dunno, we were never really serious, you know? I guess I just really like her, and I dunno…I hope we can still be friends?" was all Patrick needed for his whole world to fall apart. Kaner choked back a sob as he realized what Jonny was saying, a hand went down to stroke his stomach as to assure the baby of…something. Before Pat realized it, he was sitting on the floor, his back against the wall, bawling his eyes out as Jonny continued talking hurriedly on the other side of the door. Jon just kept reiterating how great this girl he'd met was, and how he thought they could have a future together, and how, you know, he and Pat obviously never could.

Patrick closed his eyes and sobbed quietly as his whole world seemed to narrow and disappear entirely, leaving him icy cold. "Pat? You're okay with this, right?" Tazer inquired, sounding nervous, and suddenly the silence seemed heavy. Kaner wiped his eyes, and a cold anger filled his body, fuelling him to say in his least quivering tone, "Fuck you." Alright, so his voice may have broken over the 'you' a little, but so what? His whole life was going to be changed forever by Jonny, and Tazer was going to run off into the sunset with some girl.

"Pat." Jon whined and tears began running down Pat's face again, dripping quietly onto his rounded stomach. "I need you to be okay with this." Jonny mumbled and Pat laughed, a harsh, pained laugh, his tears continuing through as he replied. "Fine. Go off and be happy." Since Patrick didn't hear anything that sounded like Tazer leaving, he locked the door and stomped off loudly, hoping Jonny would get the concept that he should probably go now.  
  
~  
  
 _July 16th, 2012_

As Jonny started the car, and began driving to the hospital, the only sound in the car for quite some time was Kaner's harsh, laboured breaths. "So…You…" Tazer mumbled, focused on driving, and definitely avoiding looking at the mess that was Pat. Patrick laughed a harsh laugh as soon as he got his breath back. "Fuck you, Toews. You can't fucking off and leave me for…what ever the fuck her name was and then come back 'cause Sharpie called you and expect everything to be fine and dandy!"

As Jon finally glanced over at Pat, Kaner decidedly wrapped his hands around his large stomach, attempting to protect the baby inside from Tazer's scrutiny. "Yes. I'm pregnant. Yes. It's yours." Pat growled, leaning his head back and closing his eyes to keep his tears in. A sharp intake of breath accompanied his words, as Tazer's brain caught up with what Kaner had said. "B-But…w-what?" Tazer mumbled, sounding wrecked. Patrick opened his eyes, tears slipping down his cheeks as he glared at his lover/friend/captain/linemate. "Fuck you." He murmured, sobs wreaking havoc on his voice.

Jonny's hands tightened on the wheel as he drove about 20 miles over the speed limit, rushing towards the hospital. Kaner's sobs were the only sound in the car as emotions tore through him. "I fucking loved you. Fuck that. I fucking love you, even after all the shit you pulled, I still love you, you know that? Because I'm a fucking idiot, and even when you destroyed my life, I still-" Kaner's rant was cut off as another pain ripped through him and he moaned.

"I-I…" Jonny mumbled, biting his lip as he tried to pay attention to the road. Although most of his attention was on his pregnant passenger. "I'm sorry, Kaner." Tazer finally mumbled and Pat panted, trying to get over the pain. "I-I…um, split up with her a few months ago…I guess she just…she wasn't you." Jon murmured and Kaner gnashed his teeth, trying not to yell at Tazer.

Jon glanced over as he took the exit for the hospital, to find Kaner glaring at him, his eyes full of unshed tears. "Oh, so I'm supposed to just forget about 5 months of hell? 5 months of missing you, and being constantly reminded of you every fucking time I look down? 5 months of never leaving my apartment, 'cause fuck, someone could see me, and then I would be more screwed that I already am? 5 months of trying to hate you and failing?" Patrick growled, his blue eyes wild with anger as Jon captured his gaze.

"I-I'm so, so sorry Pat. I-I love you…And if I'd known about…about the kid, then I'd've…I dunno." Tazer muttered, and Pat was saved from answering as another pain struck him. As they pulled up to the hospital, Tazer apologized again, and then picked Patrick up, carrying him into the emergency room.

The nurse saw them and hurried to get a wheelchair for Pat, which Tazer grumbled about, but finally set him down in. Kaner almost laughed as the nurse wheeled him along, but it came out more like a sob. Jon hurried along with them to the delivery ward, and once Patrick was settled in the bed, Tazer collapsed into one of the chairs, putting his head in his hand and making noises that sounded suspiciously like crying.

"I'm so sorry Pat. I love you, really I do. I know that I was a dick, but…" Jonny looked up, tears drawing tracks on his cheeks, his eyes wild and confused. "What can I do to make it right?" He mumbled in a broken tone, and Pat looked away, he couldn't stand to see his friend and captain in such a state of despair.

There was another long awkward silence as Kaner considered how what would make him feel at all better. "Uh, I dunno Jonny, I really don't know. Um, just be there I guess…For us, you know?" Patrick mumbled, then the doctor appeared and both men fell silent as the doc checked how far along Pat was and informed him that they could begin the caesarian section now, if Kaner wished. Patrick nodded and glanced at Jonny when they asked if he wanted anyone else to be in the room. Tazer almost leapt out of his chair at the words, and so Pat nodded and whispered Jon's name.  
  
~  
  
Pat didn't remember a lot more until suddenly he awoke in a bed, his stomach decidedly flat and not round. He panicked for a moment, until he remembered what had happened. When he remembered though, he threw off his blankets and tossed his legs over the side of the hospital bed. Strong arms suddenly stopped him, and forced him horizontal again, and abruptly Jonny's concerned face swam into view. "Pat. Where were you going!? You just had a major surgery!" Jon whisper-yelled and Kaner struggled to think through the trails of the anaesthetic. "Uh…I wanna see him." Pat whined, his voice scratchy for lack of use, an Jon rubbed his face with the hand that he wasn't using to hold Kaner down.

"Alright, alright. I'll call the nurse. But no moving, okay?" Tazer used his 'I'm the captain and you'll do as I say' voice and Patrick just sighed, but nodded. Just like that, his baby boy was in his arms and for a split second Pat panicked as he tried to remember how to hold a newborn baby. But he got it after a second and the baby quieted down, it's cute, red face scrunching into an expression of what Patrick could only assume was consternation.

"Can…can I…?" Jonny asked hesitantly and Kaner patted the bed next to him, inviting Jon to sit beside him. As Tazer sat, Patrick handed the small child over to it's other father, and Jon looked stricken by amazement. "He-he's so tiny." Tazer mumbled and Pat nodded, "Yeah, when they showed me the ultrasounds of him I couldn't believe he was really there, in the beginning, 'cause he was so small." The blond murmured, reaching over to touch his child's face lightly.

"What…what's his name? The nurse asked me, but I said I'd have to ask you…" Jon muttered after another moment of silence, and Pat leaned his head down on Jonny's shoulder. "Um…Well, you kinda have a say in what his name is…But I was thinking to name him Jayden…And I was gonna give him your name as a middle name, so, uh, he'd know…well, have a connection to you, through his name…But…uh…" Kaner mumbled into Jonny's shoulder, and Tazer grinned slowly, carefully rocking their child. "I like that…But what last name will he have?" Jon inquired and Pat smiled. "I kinda thought Kane-Toews had a ring to it…" The blond stroked his their child's face as he spoke, softly moving his hand back and forth to calm the infant.

"I-I like that." Jon mumbled and they continued to lie there in a soft state of bliss for quite some time.  
  
~  
  
 _July 18th, 2012_

"Hey Kaner!" Abby shouted, hurrying into the hospital room and giving Patrick a hug without even noticing Jonny lounging in one of the chairs. Her husband was slightly more perspective as he stiffened only a moment after walking into the room. "How come you're still here?" Sharpie sneered, coming to stand by his wife. Patrick half-heartedly mumbled for Sharpie to not bother Tazer, but since he'd just woken up it was a tall order for him to think, let alone speak.

Sharpie turned red as Jonny shrugged, slouching farther down in his chair. "Where we you when he was trying to fucking kill himself hunh?" Sharpie yelled and Jon turned white as a sheet. Kaner struggled to sit up as he realized that they were about to fight or something. "Oh. So he didn't tell you about that, hunh?" Sharpie smugly added, his face twisted in an expression of hate. "We had him on unofficial suicide watch for a month." Abby piped up, her face pinched as she handed Jayden to Pat, who's hands had gone out in a 'come here' gesture a bit earlier.

"W-what?" Tazer whispered, and Patrick turned bright red, pretending to be extremely fascinated by his baby for a moment while he remembered what he'd been thinking at the time. "Yeah. Pat locked himself in the bathroom for 3 hours and wouldn't come out. I finally got the door open, to find him bawling his eyes out with a razor in one hand and his other hand splayed across his stomach." Sharpie growled and Kaner stroked his baby softly, pretending to ignore the controversy around him.

"So I walk in to this and then Pat looks up at me, his eyes not quite focused on anything, and he tells me, 'I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it to him' as he strokes his stomach. Abby and I had to take turns watching him for the next-" Sharpie was cut off by Kaner's mumbled, "Shhh, I don't want him to hear." Everyone looked confused for a second, but then Kaner stroked Jayden's hair again, and they suddenly understood that Pat didn't want his child to hear such horrible concepts. Tazer looked extremely uncomfortable for a moment, then he seemed to force himself to relax as Sharpie unclenched his hands. "He's big." Sharpie commented after a moment, and the tense silence was lifted as Kaner began chatting about how Jayden was the perfect weight for a boy, and how proud he and Toews were.

To give him credit, Sharpie only flinched a little every time Tazer was mentioned, but that was fair enough since Kaner flinched a little too. Once Sharpie and his wife left, Jonny came over and cuddled Kaner quietly for a while. "Did you really? What were you thinking?" Jon mumbled after a moment, and Pat sighed, he'd expected this, but it was still annoying. "Yes. I did. I was thinking that you were going to be happy without me, and then I remembered that, you know, dying, wouldn't just hurt you, but it would also hurt little Jayden too." Pat muttered, stroking the head of his sleeping child. Tazer stiffened for a moment and then kissed Kaner's head and murmured into Pat's hair. "Please…Never do that again." The strained, pleading tone made Kaner promise immediately, and he agreed to never consider that again.  
  
~  
  
 _September 3rd, 2012_

Pat got back into shape, mostly, in time for training camp, and Tazer had kept his promise and moved his stuff into Kaner's apartment, which was the larger of their two. Today, Patrick had brought Jayden in to meet the guys, and Jonny was hovering uncomfortably as the guys all coed over the tiny baby. As they put Jayden to sleep that night, Jonny drew Pat into a hug, and then he kissed him with feeling and when they stopped, they both were panting hard enough that you'd think they'd just finished a shift on the ice.

"I love you." Jonny said, and the pair leaned together to kiss again. They weren't done fixing their relationship, but then again, what is a relationship if not work? All relationships require work, and Jonny and Pat were looking forward to a life together. They even planned to get married in the summer, if their families would agree on a location! Jon and Patrick were content to live out the rest of their lives with each other, and of course Jayden.

Maybe it wouldn't be happily ever after, but it sure was close.

~End! :)

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it. It turned out better than you thought it would, right?


End file.
